goodbye

goodbye. it is literally the hardest word to say to anyone, especially kids that have stolen your heart.

in less than 11 hours, i am heading back to the united states. as much as i love it there, i cant imagine leaving this place any time soon. the last worship was tonight and that's when the waterworks came for everyone, even the kids. it was hard to hold these kids for one of the last times with them crying in my arms. also, its hard to get tons and tons of letters from these kids saying how much theyre going to miss me and how much they love me. words cannot express how much i love each and every one of them.

since we are leaving so soon, i think i need to start packing. i have refused to start because i dont want to leave my family here. all of my little and big brothers and sisters have definitely changed me yet again. but one thing they keep saying is "you have to leave so you can come back." and hopefully one day soon ill see all of these coffee bean colored children again.

but this was just a quick update on whats happening here. our team would love some prayer for strength to get through tomorrow. tomorrow we leave and have to go through the line of all the children at fiwagoh. thank you in advance. see yall later gators.

nearing the end

I can't believe I am actually leaving this place in just a couple days. It’s insane to even think about because we just got here on what feels like yesterday. This journey has been full of fun, challenges, and new friendships, and it’s hard to believe it is coming to a close.

But, here’s a quick update of stuff that is happening here:

The clinic is getting quicker. I mainly work on this one sweet boy’s head. He has major infection and the first time he came in I did “surgery” (meaning tweezers and scissors) on his head for 2 hours. The next time I worked on it, it was another 4 hours. It’s sometimes disappointing and draining to work for that long and feel like nothing is happening. But, since then, his head is getting better and better. The shortest amount of time I’ve done surgery on him was 45 minutes. (But, don’t worry. He doesn’t get bored when I do surgery on him because I taught him how to play doodle jump on my ipod). Anyways, we are all hoping that it will be all healed by the time we leave.

Another big part of this trip has been getting the mattresses in the beds. Two weeks ago, all the kids got new mattresses. But, they can’t use them until they are covered in fabric, and for the little ones, they have to have plastic over the fabric (in case they “rain” in bed). They only have two seamstresses to work on this job, so we decided to take on the job. We just got the fabric and started today. It’s a long process and the super glue all over my hands adds to the length of the process. But, the time spent is well worth it to see their faces with the new mattresses. Most of their to-be-old mattresses are about 1 inch thick and from what I assume, highly uncomfortable. So, if we have to pull an all-nighter or two to get all the fabric and things done, we are willing and able. We have finished around 50-75, so we have lots of work to do in one day.

Since I’ve been here for a long time, I have gradually learned almost all of the kids’ names. And with learning their names, I’ve made new forever friends. It’s so nice to get to talk to the kids that hardly ever get talked to. One guy here is shy and that’s why he doesn’t talk much. But, when you’re one-on-one with him, he could talk for hours. It’s been neat to hear stories and just be able to be the listening ear that some of these kids need. When I read the letters they write to me, I am amazed by how big of a difference one little thing makes. These kids just soak it all in, and so do I.

I planned on talking more about it here, but it’s past midnight already. I guess time flies when you’re having fun! So, looks like if you want to know more, we will have to talk when I get back! (and I’ll definitely have LOTS to talk about). These kids have not only stolen my heart, but they are my heart. The word “goodbye” will be the hardest word of all in the coming days. The kids keep asking me when I’m coming back after I leave and it’s hard to not have the answers to those questions. So, until then, I am just trusting in God’s plan and loving on His precious children.

continually playing catch up

So, I know I haven’t been blogging a lot lately and a TON has happened since I’ve blogged last. I don’t want to make this one as long as the last, but here goes nothing.

When I last blogged, there was a Visiting Orphans team here. Also, there were days that were draining in the clinic. But now, since the VO team left and the Equip1 team is here, it’s gotten better and crazier, all at the same time.

Nowadays, we wake up and go to worship, breakfast, and then clinic. Clinic seems to get harder and harder each day emotionally. But, at the same time yet again, it’s truly AMAZING to see the change in the children’s wounds and their emotions as well. For example, on Sunday, we had a little boy come in and he cried and cried for 45 minutes straight before we even got to the painful stuff. He is only 6, so it was hard to deal with putting him through pain even though it would make him better in the long run. Anyways, the next day he came in he cried, but it wasn’t as long as the first time. Plus, he had good reason to cry because a needle was being put through his sores to pop them. During this time, he would never smile and would just give us a blank stare every time we saw him. The day after that, he came in (willingly) and did exactly as he was told without waterworks. Yesterday, he came in and actually SMILED at us. Although he was still going through pain, he managed to put a smile on his face. Finally today, he WILLINGLY came up to me and let me tickle him. I heard him laugh and that brought a smile to my face. It’s so amazing how you can see the change we are making in these children. That sweet little boy started out as a crier who never stopped (even when we took a walk around the compound to cool down). Now he laughs and smiles at us. I guess we are just seeing little miracles each day. Also, we see miracles in the wounds we treat. Some of them seem like they will never get better. Others seem like they shouldn’t take as long to heal. Either way, the Healer puts His hands on these kids and continually makes it all better.

After clinic, we have been equipping different areas of Fiwagoh. Some are helping the teachers; others are helping the cooks, sewers, and a few others. I help with the teaching. We have been teaching math games for the kids using cards.

In the afternoons, we have been helping the kids make flip-flops (or slippers, as they call them). They get to tie fabric on the straps to “pretty them up.” While some of the team is helping there, I play on the field with the kids not making the flip-flops. We’ve played freeze tag, what time is it Mr. Fox, Frisbee, and tetherball. On a side note, basically no American can beat a Kenyan at any physical activity. (But, I managed to win one game of tetherball out of the 12 I played).

After worship every other night, we make all the little kids go to bed, and only the “seniors” (oldest kids) get to stay in the room. During the time with the seniors, we just focus on them. They have so much responsibility and we want them to be loved on and to be a kid (and have fun while doing all of that). So, we play spoons, chairs, and have story time. I love getting to focus on the older kids who don’t normally get focused on.

On an unrelated note, all I can say is that God does miracles for our team and for everyone at Fiwagoh daily. We had one of the biggest miracles happen yesterday. It just reminds me that we serve a GREAT God, and He is always looking out for us. He truly wants the best for us and works for our good.

I would go into greater detail, but I don’t have the time or energy to do so. I end each day completely energyless. Each day is a challenge to get through. Seeing the wounds and hurt is hard some days. Some days, I wish I could just make it all better, but I’m learning that it’s a process. Even though it is tough, there is nowhere else I want to be than right here, loving on the kids that continually steal my heart and make me smile. Their letters, smiles, and their hugs melt my heart. With each day, the relationships grow stronger and the thought of saying goodbye gets harder.

I want to ask y’all to pray for all the kids here at Fiwagoh, especially the kids in the clinic and the ones with HIV. At this point with some kids, we have to accept the fact that  things have to get worse before they can get better. Also, please pray for our team (Equip1 with 15 team members) as we go throughout this journey. We have been blessed beyond belief. God clearly wants us here helping everyone at Fiwagoh. I couldn’t be happier to have been chosen to be on this team with each of the members.

Oh, and I just want to say thank you so much for the prayers and encouraging words. Y’all are awesome! Tuti oh na na badai! (That means “see you later” in Swahili for y’all non-Kenyans out there)

friday, friday, gotta get down on friday

Friday was one of the most eventful days here at Fiwagoh. First off, it was the Day of the African Child. The Day of the African Child is for orphan awareness basically. All of the nearby orphanages in the town of Gilgil all met up to celebrate orphans and to raise awareness on how to lessen the number of orphans not only in Gilgil, but everywhere. So, this is how the day went:

First, we woke up earlier than usual for all the kids to look nice in their school uniforms, and then we had worship. Like usual, after worship we worked in the clinic, then ate breakfast. The clinic is becoming very popular because we are in there twice a day. But, it is so awesome to see the results of the little medical care we can give. But, anyways, we planned to head towards Gilgil by 7 a.m. But, we didn’t start leaving until 8:45 a.m. That’s African time for you. Everyone from all the orphanages was supposed to get to Gilgil by 9 a.m. and Gilgil is 5 miles away, so obviously we were late.

Since Caitlin, Meredith, and I are mzungus (Swahili for white people) and technically visitors, we didn’t have to walk all the way there and back. We got a ride with the juniors (little kids) that couldn’t walk that far. But, everyone else either walked (or ran) there. Caitlin and I were part of the first group of people to be driven, (there was a total of 3 trips for the juniors alone). When we got to Gilgil, we were left with 35 kids in the middle of an African town to wait 20 minutes for more juniors to get there (and a solid 45 minutes for the walkers/runners). We literally saw a woman carrying a chicken by the neck and stray goats and dogs. We made sure to watch our backpacks because there were so many people everywhere we looked. I was counting every 30 seconds making sure we didn’t lose a little one, but thankfully we all made it there and back safely.

When everyone else got to us (an hour late), we lined up in the line with 13 other orphanages to march to the GTI in Gilgil. We were the largest orphanage with a whopping 208 kids, 2 supervisors of the orphanage, and 3 mzungus. The only other two white people we saw were with a different orphanage. So, it was 5 mzungus to 1,200 African orphans.

Once at the GTI, each orphanage had the opportunity to share a little something for everyone else. Fiwagoh kids sang a hymn and recited some Bible verses. Others danced and some recited poems about orphans. Overall, it was just a celebration of African orphan children. It was soooo much fun and I loved every second of it! I would go into more detail, but this blog is getting long already.

Another thing that made Friday eventful was worship. That night I had the lovely opportunity to speak and share a lesson. If you know me, you know it is very difficult for me to speak in front of lots of people, especially 212 people. So. Many. Eyes. My lesson was short and sweet, but everyone was really tired, so I was thanked by many for the short lesson. Just like every other time I speak, I planned for it to be longer and better, but I was stuck with a short lesson of jumbled words and lots of “like”s. Before I spoke, I was flipping out knowing that if I messed up, it would be in front of A LOT of people. But, after it was all said and done, a few of the older kids came up to me and thanked me for sharing. Also, they said that was exactly what they needed to hear. I’m glad they liked it because it took me 2 hours and 3 brains to come up with it. I’m happy I got to share, but if I never teach a lesson again, I’ll be just fine.

Friday was also the halfway day of this journey. It’s crazy to think that we’ve already been here 2 weeks and in exactly two short weeks from that day we’ll be making a trek not to Gilgil, but to the U.S. If I could stay here forever, I think I would because these kids make my heart SO happy. They are respectful, loving, and crazy kiddos. Each person in this orphanage has a special place in my heart and a piece of it, too. Friday, just like every other day here, has not only left an imprint on my brain, but also it has left an imprint on my heart.

a day of adventures

Every day has been an adventure from beginning to end, especially yesterday.

Yesterday, I woke up this morning feeling sickly. So, our whole room made the sacrifice to not wake up at 5:30 a.m. to go to worship and to sleep in until 7 a.m. Yes, I said SLEEP IN until 7 a.m. But, we met for breakfast around 7:30 a.m. Then, we volunteered to work in the clinic helping around 30 kids who needed more medical attention than we can give. Three of them ended up going to the hospital. Two of those three have the measles, which is like chicken pox and is as common here as the flu in the U.S. Those two will be on medication for the next month, and I will be ointment-ing them until I leave (that’s my specialty in the clinic). The other child has sores on his hands and are so infected that it made his hand swell up and was hot. So, he will be taking four pills a day to hopefully get better. In the clinic, my main job was helping the nurses from the Visiting Orphans team that is here. Also, I lathered up the kids whose skin was cracking with lotion.

After working in the clinic for around 2 hours, we got to play on the field with the kids. I hung around with John, Dennis, Sarah, Helen, and others. We were able to play on the playground we built last year and doing that was very rewarding. The slides were fun to play on because I got to slide down them with my babies in my arms.

We also went to Haven on Hope yesterday. Haven of Hope has 39 kids ages ranging from 1 year to 12 years old. I held a sweet little one who was around 2 years old for a while then was handed a little girl who was around 8 years old. She is new to HOH, so she did not speak a word to me or to anyone else for that matter. But, the way she wanted love was by me just holding her (on my hip, standing up) and being with her. She got a little heavy after 15 minutes, but I didn’t want to put her down because she needed love by physical touch. She was so precious and we have to opportunity to see her tomorrow, so hopefully I will be able to be the physical touch of love she needs for tomorrow.

When we got back to Fiwagoh, we had dinner then we helped out in the clinic again before (and during) worship. We told the kids with really bad wounds to come back that night and so they did. We thought it would only take a minute, but lots of kids came and so we were in the clinic during the whole worship service. We saw such great improvements and we were able to tell the team that is coming this weekend what we need at the clinic. Please pray for each and every child that comes in the clinic because some of the kids need more than medical attention. One sweet boy has a very low immune system, so he always has sores all over his body. The team coming is thankfully bringing some multivitamins for him to help boost his immune system.

That is what I have been doing for the past two days. We work in the clinic in the morning and night and visit different orphanages in the afternoon. Today, we went on a nature walk instead of playing in the field after the clinic. The nature walk was 1.5 hours long, and some of the VO team members were surprised to hear that was the short walk. The kids love walking, so we do it often and for long periods of time.

After every day, I fall in love with this place more and more. Even when I see the sores and the infections in these kids’ bodies, I am thankful for the opportunity to help out the kids in any way possible. Sometimes the sight isn’t pleasant and sometimes the smell in the clinic gets me. But, I still go back and help a new face that needs lotion, ointment, or a hand to hold while Hydrogen Peroxide bubbles in their wounds. Fiwagoh is such a special place with special kids, and there is no place I’d rather be right now than right here with my precious babies making an imprint on their lives and them making one on mine.

the end of week one in africa

Jambo! (That means “hello” in Swahili). I’ve been meaning to blog more often, so sorry for the wait. Days here are long and tiring, but worth spending every ounce of energy I have.

Every day last week, I was in a classroom attempting to teach. They had me teaching Kenyan Social Studies and Science (plus English and Math because that’s what I told them I would teach). So far, I’ve taught 4^th, 5^th, 6^th, and 8^th grade. Teaching these kids isn’t difficult because like I said, they are eager to learn. When I was teaching 5^th grade, we had a U.S. History lesson instead of Kenyan History, and I answered about 150 questions about life in the U.S. The funniest question they asked was if the first president was Abraham Lincoln. I told them they were only 15 presidents from being right!

One day after school last week, one little boy named Joseph came up to me and asked me to read a story for him. After one page, there were about 20 other kids gathered around. I planned on reading until their supper was served (that would’ve been about 30 minutes), but I ended up reading the whole 86-page book to those precious little ones. Supper for them was running an hour late, so obviously God wanted me to read the whole book to them. And I am perfectly fine with that, too.

So, I am in a prank war with one of the African boys. It all started when he threw a little water on me while I was talking to some kids. Then, the war began! I got him back by asking Duncan Sr. to help me. I ended up throwing a tubberware box full of ice water on him. And he got me back by throwing a whole PITCHER of water on me and Duncan Sr. But, we have some plans up our sleeve. Even in Africa, there are pranks. That makes me so so SO happy!

“Love is something when you give it away, it comes right back to you. It’s like a magic schilling, you put it in your pocket and you don’t have any. But, if you spend it or you give it away, it comes right back to you.”

This was the first song we sang on Sabbath. Ever since my first Sabbath, the word has a totally different meaning. To most Americans, Sabbath is just a Sunday where you go to church and then come home and go about your day. But, here at Fiwagoh, that’s completely NOT the story. On the Sabbath, it is a day of rest. Literal rest. No work, no nothing. Here’s how the day went: Saturday morning worship started at 6:45 a.m. Pastor Benson shared and then we had our first and only break for breakfast. When we got back into worship, we were there for another 7 hours. Talk about a service, and a long one at that. But, it was still a great experience that everyone should experience at least one time in their life. One of the funniest parts is when all the little kids start nodding off because they are tired. I had one kid on my left leg, one on my right, and one in between my two legs on the ground nodding off. I tried to hold their little heads so they wouldn’t bob the head too much, but when someone’s asleep, their head weighs about 500 more pounds than usual. After the service completely over, we went on a nature walk after lunch at 2 p.m. We walked to the lake and had such a fun time of just being with each other. Then, the Visiting Orphans team got here.

The Visiting Orphans team got here after the Sabbath (technically) ended. It’s nice to see more mzungus here because now the kids have more people loving on them. When the visitors first arrived, a couple of my kids said they didn’t want to meet any new people, so they just stayed with me the whole time. Meredith, Caitlin, and I just pretended to be new and we all had new names. Some kids thought it was hilarious, and others actually thought our names were Queen Latifa, Victoria, and Helga. We ended up having to monitor who we told our new names to. When Pastor Benson first introduced the new comers, we were told to go the side with all the kids because we were family and not visitors anymore. I love that Pastor Benson calls us family. We are treated like family and this place really is home.

I could write so much more and could definitely be more organized in my writing and such, but like I said, the days are long and the nights are short. But, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m so thankful I have the opportunity to love on these kids. And not only that, but also to love on them with my dad, cousin, and (a basically adopted-into-the-family) cousin.

Dear God, thank you for giving us the opportunity to love on Your children. I thank you that You put a burden for orphans in my heart. I also thank you that You are the one who holds not only our future, but everyone’s. I pray that each and every one of these kids will always live to serve You and they would lean on You at all times. Also, I pray that for the kids who are hurting or sick, that you would just put Your healing hand on them. You are amazing and I thank you for dying on the cross to take what we deserve, so we can have what You deserve. Amen.